Share Your Cheating Story

Take a few minutes to tell your cheating story. We can all learn from other people's experiences and benefit from comfort of others who have are in the same situation. No one understands what it is like to be betrayed this way, so let's all come together and support one another.

Simply leave a comment with your story or you can always email me and I will post it here. 


  1. Hi. I am currently going through the nightmare called infidelity. I have been married to my husband for 10 years, but we have been together for nearly 12. Flirtatious texting and emails has occurred off and on for years. Each time my husband was caught he was extremely contrite. Because “nothing physical” every happened, we ended up working things out. This time something “physical” DID happen. My husband began an affair with a woman at work two weeks before the birth of our third child. I found out about three weeks ago.

    We were out of town for a family funeral, and my husband had taken the baby upstairs “to rest.” When I went up to our room, he was asleep on the bed and our infant daughter was awake beside him smiling. I was going to wake him up to tell him how cute they were—but then I saw his cell phone beside him and that he had a message waiting. I looked at the message and it was suspicious, suggesting someone’s efforts were being “shut down” by him. I don’t know what came over me, but I began texting back to see how far the conversation would go. Then my husband woke up. I confronted him and he admitted the full scope of the relationship. He was having a sexual affair.

    My husband had met with the OW four times—but when I couldn’t look at him that night he went to her. The next day he begged to come home, and pleaded that no matter what he loved me NOT her. We are now living separated, and are going to individual and couples' counseling. I NEVER thought I’d be a woman to stick around after an affair, but we have a lot of time and love invested in our marriage throughout the years. And we have three beautiful children—the youngest being two months now. If it doesn't work out I want to be able to tell my children that I did all I could to keep things together. Still, try as I may, the pain of this betrayal is the most brutal I have ever endured.

    1. My wife cheated on me very steady for over 18 months . I was so stupid and blind I did not see it . She is an excellent liar and manipulator . I found it out by accident , then kept on pursuing till I had lot and lots of evidence . I counted over 9,000 messages she sent her lover, including many nude pics . I Tape recoreded conversations they had , lots and lots of I love You's . I had a mental breakdown and went crazy for many months . I went through council but she refuses to admit her affair , and admit any guilt . She will never go to council . It was all because she was bored and horny . I was devastated and still am . I fear she is some sort of whore or something . Her lover is good looking but a complete thug , no job , no house , no nothing . We have 2 children , I am in this marriage for our children . She was in love with the guy , that was my biggest fear. But when she discovered he truly was a thug , she finally gave it up . But not because I caught her red handed . She wanted a bull and got one . I am a normal guy , work hard and make good money , that was not enough for her . I am not over this yet . It hurts inside and my life has totally changed due to her affair .

  2. Oh I know....this type of betrayal is the one that gets you the most wound up. How could someone you thought loved you so much do this to you? I will never understand how you can love someone and then have sex with someone else. It just doesn't make sense at all.

    I hope you and your husband can work it heart goes out to you.

  3. I cannot believe the nerve and lack of morals of some people - just found out that a friend's husband, Dr. Everard Hughes of Garden City, KS is having an affair with the wife's friends of thirty years!!! This woman, Rhonda Sidibe, just recently moved to Garden City to be close to the wife and at the wife's expense! The wife helped her move, furnished housing and helped her out financially -- only to have this woman steal her husband and now try to steal her life ---- WTF!!!!!!!!

  4. Found out a month ago tomorrow night. Gutted. Sterotype mid-life crisis affair - married man of 50, girl of 25, he travels every other week up to pacific northwest for business. She works at the hotel he stays at.


    Agreed to marriage counseling. He begs me to stay, he really never thought I'd leave him, he also never thought I'd find out. Stupid man. I kicked him out as soon as I discovered affair, and he lied to me for a week afterwards. We have two daughters, I will not stay with him "for the kids". Why would I do that, so they can learn to be treated like a doormat? No way.

    Would love to take the opportunity to build a strong relationship with this man that will last the rest of our lives... but can I? Can I ever trust him again? Can I get a guarantee on his fidelity? My husband is a man of great respect. His reputation will take a hit if this gets back to his co-workers, his boss, his family. He has said that he expects to lose 2 of his very good friends when they find out. Is he staying with me for his reputation, or because he loves me? Our marriage counselor told him if he's staying for any other reason than true love he should pack it in now. It won't be worth his effort or my pain. Our close friends know, and every single one of them is shocked. It has always appeared as if he adored me, truly. But he opened that door and how will I ever again believe it is closed?

    One month tomorrow. And everything hurts.

    I didn't know you could hurt this bad and not die.

    I'm so afraid it will happen again.

  5. Summer of 2009 - summer of lust for him, despair for me... I completely identify with all the stories and feelings, my husbands drug addiction prompted him to break boundaries in our marriage as far as opposite sex was concerned and ultimately have a 5 month affair with a very hot 27 yr old - he was 54 at time, very good looking and loves attention... it was the most horrible, painful, heart wrenching thing... 3 yrs later he is sober, working 12 step program, I am also sober 30 yrs and attend alanon. He has had a conversion, we are devout Catholics, but I cannot seem to get past the hurt, I am so much better, but hurt him at times with my words and ianbility to forgive, I pray all the time but feel forever broken .. it makes me feel mentally ill, I am so sad ... we lost everything due to his drug addiction... our house jobs etc.. he is trying but it is me now .. I am embarrassed to admit I am still hurting after 3 years and act out .. noone wants to hear it anymore..I do go to therapy, it validates and helps, and yes, she says I have PTSD... ugh

  6. Three years and it still hurts? It's been 9 years since I found out my husband cheated. We were married 23 years, and he was unfaithful with a woman I supervised in his company. Long story, many tears. He wants to renew our wedding vows--our 40th this year--I prefer not to as I don't think these vows meant anything to him the first time.

  7. My wife had an affair that lasted a long time and I am still not over it yet. I was so blind and stupid. By accident I caught her having a conversation with a friend whom I thought was female , turned out to be male . It stirred my mind and I took her phone and downloaded all information and bingo there it was . I kept quiet for a while till I had enough evidence to truly confront her . I hacked into her email accounts and put Tape recorders in her Car under the seat . I counted over 9000 messages she sent her lover . I listened to their recorded conversations , etc etc . She never would admit to it and still does not . I contacted her lover and met with him in private . Not to threaten him but to ask is it love or simply sex . for him it was simply sex , for her it was love . I then exposed all info and she went ballistic and still denies everything . She broke it off but still denies everything . Via research I did find out he is a much better lover than me . She loved the adventure of an affair and the extra sex . what hurt was she took money from our account to pay for their meetings , hotel , etc . It all started from bordom and needing a friend . I have never been abusive but have been guilty of working way to much . She refused to admit she had an affair even with over whealming evidence , so I had an affair in revenge . mine was simply sex , not love . She still is not over her lover yet . I will never forgive or forget what she did because she refuses to admit she had a long affair with a man just because he was a great lover . The guy is a thug , does not even have a job or home , or anything , he is a complete looser with no future . I am a good looking guy and women hit on me all the time , but she is equally as beautiful . I went through council but she refuses to go , I fear she will do this again . We have children , I am in this marriage for my children . It disgust me when I touch her , I think she is a whore . It took lots of investigation to uncover all the facts but all of her friends knew she was having an affair . I was so blind and stupid . Part of me wants to kill her , but I have never hurt anyone in my life . I love the fact she is a good mother , but hate the fact she will not admit to her affair . I have even planned to murder her lover , but then changed my mind when I met him . She initiated everything sent him pics of herself nude etc . She was bored and found a handsome man to have sex with . It lasted about 18 months or so , about 3 times per week average , she loves sex with him but not me and that hurts also so much. I know I am a good lover , I have had other women tell me so . She always has an org , still she wanted more . I am very angry inside , but quit going to council because she will not go herself . She refuses to talk about it even when I showed her the vidence . She is a sick woman . I married a crazy bitch . Yet I still love her . Perhaps I am crazy , I know I had a mental break down when i discovered all the evidence . I lost my mind for many months . She is not innocent , she is evil in her own way . I wish she were dead at times , other times glad she is a mother .

  8. my wife had an emotional affair with her boss spanning about 8 months. I stopped it just before it went physical. She was planning on doing sexual things with him and then sleeping with him in order to make him fall in love with her. she baked cookies for this guy, bought him a birthday present 6 months before his birthday. would talk to him 2 to 3 hours a day. had a song for him that come and get it song from gomez. she kept mentioning if we ever get seperated and i put 2 and 2 together and then all this crap came out. i found out she would kneel on his floor next to him and lean on him during work hours while looking at things on the pc. after confronting her she said if she had, had sex with her she would have to choose between the two of us and she would choose him. the emotional depth was just devistating. she fantasized about sex with him etc. she fantasized about leaving me for him and traveling the world. Now after the blow up and i confronted the guy he blew her off. she realizes she was nothing to him not even an office friend just a piece of ass he was trying to screw. now she is all sorry, and loves me and wants to show me how much i mean to her but the damage was done. we been married alomst 14 years and together 20 with 2 kids. in the last year i was dealing with the death of my father and my mom recovering fromstage 4 colon cancer. while she was out building a RELATIONSHIP with her boss. ps her boss is married and has two kids. he bought nothing for his wife on valentines day and when he saw the two dozen roses i had given my wife he asked her out to lunch and to help him pick out a gift for his wife. she didn't go at the time cause she was not under his spell all the way at that time. i basically saved it frmgoing to a full blown physical affair even though there was touching, and rubbing into each other etc. But the emotional stuff was all there. i feel devistated and disgusted as i would trust this girl with my life. i gave her everything, did everything for her. she was the center of my univers and now there is nothing inside. my ann. is coming up and it means nothing to me.

  9. I found out yesterday. He was out of town and forgot his phone, I used it to made a video, and then noticed a 'dick pic' in the camera role...wondered who it was being sent to and skimmed his recent texts, found some crazy sexting with pictures from four days ago, and mention of a time they had sex before. She is a mutual friend we party with. The sex happened in early May. It is August. There is mention in the texts of other conversations that had been deleted. I called a friend he doesn't like to come over and help me take screen shots - I knew I would doubt my memory and try to rationalize the whole thing - while I packed my bags. My friend made a reservation for a hotel the next town over, so I wouldn't be close to him when he gets back to town, too tempting to go try to be comforted because he is my best friend, and that's who I cry on when I'm upset. She left for work this morning, I called in because of a back problem - I'm scheduled for a spinal fusion on the 29th. In two weeks I am going to undergo major surgery and he was going to take care of me while I recovered! What will I do?! Anyway I spent all night making pros and cons lists about leaving him now, versus trying to work it out. I love him so much, but I cannot imagine being vulnerable and having him help me shower etc, touching my body! I booked another night here, but I don't want anyone else to know. If we reconcile, I will feel like people (my family) will judge me for not having self-respect. But I can't be in our tiny apartment with him when he gets back today...I am devastated.

  10. Oh wow... I am so sorry you're dealing with this... You made the right choice of going to a hotel. You need time to think. I completely understand the whole thing with not wanting to tell your family. People don't understand this situation, so they will never know what you should or shouldn't do, even though they think they do.

  11. I discovered my wife had started an affair with Ranger Tom, problem was Ranger lives in Florida and we live in Newcastle Australia. She chose to dismantle the family for a person on the internet on the other side of the world. Ranger didn't mind, after all anything would have improved his life of deceipt and lies. After all, he quoted on his blog 'he never got involved with married women - EVER'. It sort of tarnished his Ex-Philadelphia Police motto of HONOR - INTEGRITY - SERVICE. But as after a successful 18-year relationship and marriage, she suddenly suffered from psychological, physical and emotional abuse - lawyer speak for boredom and mid-life crisis. My two young children are the real abusees, they had to sit there and watch their mother have secret chats on the computer with a person she had never met whilst she had to 'live a single life', in the family home. More lawyer speak. thetruthaboutseptember26.blogspot.

  12. I've been married for 15 years, involved with my husband for 19 years. I found out about his affair when he was going on yet another business trip and I picked up his Iphone to leave him a love note. I had felt I was losing him for a long time, but was NOT prepared for what was to come. I'm going to make an exceptionally long story short, when I confronted him started the lies and what I call trickle truth. He didn't even care enough about me when I found out to cancel his business trip and contacted her to tell her it's over. I finally got her name out of him and proceeded to contact HER husband. We worked together (I thought) to get the truth out of our spouses. The problem was, HE DID GET THE TRUTH AND LIED TO ME. He kept my husband's secret of the physical affair. The slut was my husband's first girlfriend, the one he told me when I met him was the one that "got away."

    Since I found out in Aug. 2011 (2 weeks after the last f^ck) I was told it was only sexting so my husband and I was putting our marriage back together. But something was nagging at me, all my friends told me it went further than he is saying and I was BLIND. I wanted to believe him but I knew deep down what a selfish manipulative man he is. He started this when I was facing my third life threatening surgery. What a guy? I guess their sexting got hot fast and he had sex with her 3 days after my BD (which will N E V E R be celebrated with him again.) Since our vows were broken (he also f.cked her ONE day before our anniversary, then left me to go on ANOTHER business trip.

    The emotional and physical affair went on for 18 months. I think it was longer but all the evidence was destroyed by them both. There is so much to this story that is so incredibly hurtful to me personally, like he DIDN'T USE A CONDOM and I'm on Immune-suppresants and any infection could have killed me. He wasn't there for the ENTIRE 18 months, he was in la la land with the woman he was sure he was in love with. His lover's husband blackmailed him for an entire year to get what he needed, when he was satisfied he got as much as he could, he then told me the truth. Nice guy huh? I think he and this bitch deserve each other. Better yet, my husband with her, she's got fake boobs, pushing 56, has leather skin and is as superficial as you can get, yet she doesn't hold a candle to me! My husband doesn't even deserve me. I wonder sometimes why I stay. What am I afraid of? Once the trust is broken, and quite frankly that's all we had left. Trust, what a joke! My wedding ring has been off since I found out about the physical aspect of the affair. There are times when I'm sure I will hate him for the rest of my life, then I love him. I have PTSD and I don't want to live like this, is it better to just cut my losses? I can't subject myself to however long (if ever) I get over this. I can't see it happening. How can you trust somebody who made a vow to be faithful and had NO problem breaking it. They couldn't even wait to be together, he couldn't wait to break out vows. He's a computer genius and figured I'd never find out. He almost got away with it but he sent her a text and didn't delete it and I found it. He's starting to get it now and I'm starting to realize I don't want to live like this, the pain it too much for me to stand.

    Everyday I send her hateful texts, she can't block me. The messages can go on for hours, and I tell her how much I hate her guts. She went after a guy who's wife is in the hospital, what kind of "woman" does that? It can't be undone and I just want this nightmare to end and it just doesn't. I've had enough of this pain, my whole life has been pain, I can't do this anymore :'(

  13. I've been married 20 yrs next week/4kids.I found out about my husband's GF the day before my birthday via his skype account. He travels a lot for work and works frequently from home.That day I left in the morning and he asked me about my schedule. When I arrived in the afternoon, he was leaving the house to take the dog for a walk, with his cell phone. I frequently use his PC to retrieve emails. It was on and I was logging in when I noticed the skpe active. Who the hell does he skype? It was an active message thread of ALL DAY. He'd been skyping his GF. They had just spent 3days together celebrating her birthday in some hotel. The last part of the message was her desire to talk to him. At that he replied he was leaving to take the dog out for a walk.

    GF has been active in my marriage for a decade.They have been hooking up all over the US and Canada. She does not have children. She is married. She claims her husband knows about my husband, and that she and her husband have an open marriage which also includes group sex. I wasn't I even asked if I wanted an open marriage, nor did I ask to sleep with a sizable chunk of LA county. My husband did not use condoms with her and he "wasn't worried about diseases either. I am! Not only for me, but also for our sons who I breastfed as infants!

    There are so many levels of hurt: the complete lack of respect for me as a person, the years of gaslighting and dismissive behavior, the focused drive to destroy our marriage,deceit,disloyalty, dishonesty,disgust. He stole $ from me and our children to entertain themselves, to pay for prostitutes,gifts for GF,etc. He knowingly missed birthdays, anniversaries, his choice to be with her. He actually began to celebrate with her the oddball things that he and I created and celebrated together. I had confronted him a year ago to ask if he was having an affair and he denied it to my face. I gathered info on their affair:texts, pics, all of it. With my proof of it this October, he did not lie again. He wants to make our marriage work. He has only admitted to the long-term affair, trolling for chicks via the web, hotel handjobs and making out with a co worker.

    Now my serial cheater, who is "putting his family first", has gone into marriage counseling with me. Really the counseling is for me. I am unwilling to go crazy dealing with the amount of crap from him. The marriage counselor requested my husband see his own therapist. I'm married to a narcissist. I've been duped. I've been used. This sucks on so many levels because I trusted him completely.

    I have told a few close friends who are, ironically, attorneys. I know what the legal process entails. I even know my State has a wonderful statute where I can legally stomp all over the Christian porn GF and ruin her church,work,and personal reputations.I feel strongly that since she's enjoyed all the fun bits of playing wife to my husband, she's ALSO entitled to the unfun bits like finances related to raising 4 children.

    I'm still in the stark, raging, angry phase THAT I AM ENTITLED TO. If I list her name, address and phone number here, will this reply show up in google searches of her uniquely spelled name? She's a heavy internet user for her marykay job, as well as the xhamster porn site to send links to my husband because "it was so hot, I came", and ironically Christian stuff about Our Lord, Jesus Christ. What a fucking nut job.

    I am thankful for my friends who have encouraged me to empower myself. I am at THE fork in the road. I know there is no crystal ball about his future behavior. I DO know that narcissists do not change. They ARE who they ARE. The only real hope for my husband in making this work is individual therapy for the rest of his life. No Joke. Let's see how that goes before I choose my path.

  14. My D-Day was July 17, 2013. That's the day my world crumbled. The day I found out that my husband of 32 years, a man I had been with for 38 years was having an affair. He left and actually lived with her for 5 months. While he never cut contact with me, I began to be okay. With the help of friends and family I was becoming stronger and more sure of myself. Then he asked if he could come home. Because I still loved him despite everything I said yes. That was in November. I wonder so many days if I've made the wrong decision. Did I only take him back because I was afraid of the unknown? He is the only man I have been with since I was 17 years old.This journey of trying to mend our marriage is sometimes harder than knowing he was living with another woman. The images in my mind are more vivid. Every time he touches me I wonder if that's how he touched her. He did things with her that he would never do with me, went places that I wanted to go. I can't get over the fact that there is nothing special between us anymore. All the little things that made us who we were as a couple have been shared with someone else. He knew more about her likes and dislikes than he ever knew about me. Its driving me nuts. And to make matters even worse, she follows him, showing up in places where we are. I know everyone says it takes years to get over infidelity but I don't think I have it in me to wait for years. I'm ready to throw in the towel. Any suggestions?

  15. I'm so sorry to hear about your pain. I know that pain all too well. It does take years. I'm going through year four and I still have reminders of the affair. I still think about it every day. And...I still talk about it with my husband. I can tell you it's easier now though. I'm not so devastated by it. I'm not so mad about it. Actually, I'm not mad or devastated at all. It just sucks that it happened. You have to decide for yourself whether you want to stay or go. My only suggestion to know whether you are done or not. If you are 100% done, then go. If you are not, then stay. Don't go until you are absolutely sure you don't want to work through all of it. It's hard and it's taxing on you. You have the decision to leave at any time, so just see how it goes. That's the approach I took and I'm glad I did...

  16. Please someone give me advice, I dont think I can reconcile with my partner. We have been together for 6.5 years and the other day I found text from him bragging to his friends about cheating on me. He even sent a pic of his penis next to the girls arm to show his mate! I went crazy and trashed his things, started writing to his friends pretending to be him in order to embarrass him. He kept denying it until I showed him the picture. Our relationship has been rocky from day dot, he has lied numerous times and had flirtatious text and emails before with his ex and other girls. He was at one point verbally abusive and we went through counciling. I just feel numb, I know I love him but I dont feel any love for him right now. I am furious and I just want to put his head in a grinder. I know I will forgive him but only from a distance - I really cant picture moving forward. Just the fact that he was txting his mates about it made it all that more disgusting. But I have read so much online and I cant stand the psychs that say you should work on things and dont throw in the towel. Because it wasnt all bad for all those years, we had great times etc, but I think I should just cut my losses since we have had so many problems before and I dont think its all too normal.

  17. If you're writing this when you're calm and not full of rage, then it probably is best to move on. I know I went through many times when I wanted to just leave him, but when the rage passed, I wasn't sure again. That's my advice to everyone. If you know you don't want to be with him even when you're not all rageful, then it's probably over. Just be sure because you make a decision. You don't want to have regrets...

  18. My name is Maritza Ramos Maldonado from Clifton Park,NY. My estranged husband Fred was buying sex with prostitutes that hung out in front of the YMCA where he works as a janitor.Now i found out I have HIV/AIDS and genital herpes.


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