Saturday, July 9, 2011

My Bitterness About the Affair

Yesterday, I received an email from one of my readers. It struck a chord in me so I wanted to respond here in the blog. She gave me some suggestions for great cheating songs, a site on recovery, and then said this:

Lastly, you seem extremely bitter which is very understandable. In the long term, you will need to make peace and the marriage a place your husband wants to be or he will be gone. 

I know that when you come to this blog, you see my rage and "bitterness". However, this is an Infidelity Rage blog so I am not going to discuss how great my marriage is now compared to the way it was before. This is my safe place to come to vent my raw feelings. 

Some people overgeneralize and believe that seeing one part of something means it's the whole of something and in this case, it is not that way. I am not always "bitter" or full of rage. Normally, I am one happy person. Or I wouldn't be able to live with myself never mind my husband living with me. 

I wonder what the situation is for this person who wrote this because while I believe I shouldn't be downright cruel to my cheating husband, I don't think I should bow down to him and make life peaceful for him just so he doesn't leave me. Like I have said before, this is a process that I (and no one else) has to go through at my own pace. One day, I may get to that peaceful place where I never get upset or maybe I won't. If I don't, then that is a consequence of his actions and he has the freedom to do whatever he would like...and so do I (always keep that in mind).

I love my husband and I think my husband loves me. We are working together on this and we hope to come out of this storm stronger. In the process though, there will be lightening and thunder because that's what a storm is. People who choose to bow down and cover up their feelings don't ever truly let go of what has happened and they carry it in their subconscious forever...

1 comment:

  1. I use my livejournal account as a way to work through things - be it something I'm angry about or how much of a jerk I am being. It helps me not spew as much venom when I come face to face. It also is a great tool for me to look back and see how much I have grown or how much more I need to work on me. Sometimes, having folks comment helps me gain perspective...(and sometimes its a good way to kick me in the pants and get on the right path). what I'm getting at the long way around is this, if this blog helps you gain perspective - helps you deal with the stress, hurt and anger - then continue doing things your way.

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