Thursday, February 3, 2011

Infidelity Rage Has Turned to Infidelity Sadness

I've been having a time lately. It seems as though I have lost my rage. However, now, it's more like sadness. But it's not like I am just sad, I am done right depressed over it. The realization that my husband cheated on me makes me feel so low. You would have thought that I would have already realized the sadness in my husband's infidelity but I think the rage was just more powerful and pushed the sadness aside so it could show it's ugly head. Now the rage is exhausted and the sadness has finally been able to peak through.

I've had some trouble sleeping next to my husband at night. It's not something I've decided not to do, it's just that when I sleep next to him, I spend most of the night thinking of the affair. However, when he is away on the boat or I move to the couch, my thoughts ease and I am able to drift off to sleep. I sleep rather well too. However, if I happen to fall asleep next to him, I have nightmares or wake up several  times a night. It's as though his aura infiltrates my being and I just am not at peace. I am not sure what has changed but this is something new.

The other night, my husband confronted me about it because it hurts him that I keep sleeping on the couch. Okay, buddy, THAT hurts you? Try being a victim of infidelity. But anyway, I crashed and told him. Then I proceeded to sob harder than I have ever sobbed before. Oh I was such a mess. Dang, how different than what I have been like about the affair. Usually, I am so rageful that I could burn the house done...now, I just melt into the floor in devastation.

I guess it's another part of the process of infidelity recovery. It's so weird to see myself progressing through different stages and not even trying. I just hope that I come out of this without permanent damage mentally or emotionally...




2 comments:

  1. Hello Everyone ,I have been living with my wife for some years now,she has been keeping late nights and also receiving calls late at night,i was afraid she has been cheating on me and a friend of mine introduced me to a private investigator Worldcyberhackers@ gmail. com who helped me on spying on her.He gave me the password to her Facebook and Gmail account and also linked all her phone conversations to me.He saved me from all her lies and infidelity,he gave me all i wanted during our divorce and helped me with evidence in court. Contact : Worldcyberhackers@ gmail. com through email or WhatsApp :+12678773020

    ReplyDelete
  2. Cheating is probably one of the worst things you can do when you’re in a committed relationship. And sometimes when you wanna go back to only just being with your partner and no one else, it can be kind of hard. Your relationship isn’t the same after cheating. You may have a new mindset of what you’re wanting in a relationship or you may be feeling guilty over your cheating. Either way, the relationship is corrupted and you’re left alone figuring out what to do about a situation that is supposed to involve two people,my ex cheated and the guilt lived with him after i confronted him with enough proof of his cheating games with other women,i got help from a hacker who hacked his phone and gave me remote access to his phone activities without touching the phone.if your partners commitment is in doubt,you can contact this cyber genius=hackingloop6 @ g m a i l . c o m,or text +1(7 1 2)2 9 2 6 5 5,he is a legit software hacker.Tell him i referred
    you.

    ReplyDelete

Share your thoughts!