Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Trusting Your Cheating Husband

Photographer: jscreationzs
Trust is one of the biggest obstacles when recovering from infidelity. It's one of the factors that could make or break the marriage completely. Without trust, you won't have that deep emotional connection that healthy relationships need to survive.

I've been thinking a lot about trust lately and came to the conclusion that I don't trust my cheating husband. Of course, how could I? He cheated on me. However, my level of mistrust is so low that I don't believe that I will be able to rebuild it. That doesn't mean I am ready to pack up and walk out the door. It means that I am starting to look at things differently.

I had a discussion with cheater that didn't make him very happy. Basically, I said that if he wants to really be with me, he will be with me. If he wants to be with someone else, he can go off and be with someone else. I can't live life in the constant fear that I will be cheated on again. I won't allow myself to trust him again, because that is when feelings get wrapped up in it and you start to feel as though you have to tie him down so he won't run away.

The truth is that no matter what you do, if a husband or boyfriend wants to cheat, he will. These are choices he makes and the repercussions are whatever you make them. You can either stay with him or leave him ... THAT choice is yours and only yours.


  1. I agree. But my husband was so good at cheating and lying (even though the clues were there) and he's learned what the clues were, I'm afraid he'll be able to finesse the cheating again if I let my guard down. To his credit, we've been inseparable for the last 6 months since discovery and he's doing everything right.

  2. I am glad that he has stuck to you like glue to help with the recovery process. I think that's really important. During this time of lack of trust, it's the only way to start. At least you know that when he is with you, he isn't with her.

    On whether he will be able to cheat again, I am sure that since you now know the signs, you will be hypersensitive to it for the rest of your life. It will be much more difficult to cheat now...I think.

  3. How can someone who loves you betray you and disrespect you? It is so obvious that a woman would only engage with a married man if she gets a kick out of the humiliation he inflicts on his wife when he chooses to spend time with the mistress, whatever the activity he engages in with her.

    I have been going through this for the last 9 months, it is not getting any easier, I don't think it ever will. The only way is to pretend to yourself that he loves you. But I cannot, I do not believe him. He surely told his other woman the same. Unlike mistresses, wives do look at things this way. I do not believe he has been truthful to her, but that does not make the affair worth less.


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