As Thanksgiving draws near, I am struggling with some thoughts that have really made me depressed. I remember after finding out that my husband cheated and I was getting ready to hand over the check to the lawyer for the separation how soon I would be dealing with either Thanksgiving or Christmas without my kids. This devastated me...more than finding out my husband was with some other girl.
Now, I sit and think about my decision not to divorce him and making this marriage work. I am conflicted with sadness and rage. A part of me is sad that this almost didn't happen, while the other side of me is angry because after what he did, he just doesn't deserve to be with a loving family during the holiday. He not only betrayed me but he betrayed our children, so why is he so lucky to have us around now?
I feel like he should have been punished more for his infidelity. He should have experienced what his consequences could have been because unlike me, I don't think he fully understands what could have been. He wasn't the one looking for a divorce...it was me. I was the one who had the ball and decided what to do with it. That scares me, because I could have made a different choice, which would have changed the course of our life forever.
Sunday, November 21, 2010
He Doesn't Deserve This LIfe
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I have picked calls several times from this strange lady that claimed to be my husband's supplier from Oakland,what arouses my suspicion was the manner at which she calls at odd hours.I repeatedly asked my husband what's his connection with the strange lady,but he blatantly denied having anything to do with her aside business.The ungodly connection continued until i applied for the service of ''hackingloop6@ gmail. c o m'' whose also on +1 712 292-2655,whom hacked and gained me a remote access to his phone activities,it drained my heart to realise that the strange business lady partner was a one night stand that couldn't let him be after their first encounter.
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